Saturday, May 30, 2009

Blessed


Today, as I waited to buy books for the next class for my son, I got talking to a very sweet and mellow lady. During our conversation she said that one thing she has learned in life was to never plan as there is always something else that waits us in life.


I feel mostly in life we get messages from the creator at every step. I have observed that whenever I have felt lonely some arrangement is worked out and rapidly the void fills up as if some one is watching over me and making sure that I don't wander too far.

My heart fills up with love when I see the pattern of events and I scold myself to have doubted the tender love that surrounds me most of the time.


Life is a beautiful blessing and am blessed by the grace and presence of some angels in this life.


Pic: Me with the little kitty, kids have named him Booty boo

Mild Day


It is a mild day, sun is mellow and the gray seven sisters are playing with dry leaves on the roof. They look for insects under the leaves by turning them this way and that with their beaks. Squirrels are chasing each other on the tree bark and dahlias have become massive. Life has so many layers. The season and elements come together and an atmosphere. At this very moment it is sub zero temperature on the poles and scorching blaze in Sahara, but here it is soothing Spring, As they say this feels more like 'maya' (illusion).

I am cooking a very tasty beans dish today and have to puree the tomatoes, garlic and the onions. Adding whole spices like black pepper and cardamom gives it a nice warm flavor and then the reddish gravy(tomatoes) with the nice tender beans s a delight with fragrant basmati rice.

My meditation is taking me to beautiful silence as I am becoming more aware of its importance and succor it provides.

I burn an oil lamp at night and put my feet in warm water in a bucket, to which a spoonful of salt has been added. This helps drain the negativity that we accumulate through out the day. Then, I drain this water and sit in meditation. Sometimes it is deep and I am sitting aware yet unaware of my surroundings for long and sometimes the distractions are stronger and I my attention is engaged in other things after a short while.

Pic: These flowers feel like paper and last long when cut and last long in a vase.

Mango Blossoms


The soft maroon of the very young leaves of mango tree melted my heart. There is something about the tender life that tugs at the heart. The way these leaves have enveloped the tree is beautiful, like a soft maroon torrent. The slightly warmed breeze carries this ripeness of life. The bitter-sweet fragrance of mango blossoms. Children play around, their firm limbs shining in the evening sun. Even if it is a dream, this world, it is a beautifully crafted dream.

Butterflies dance, my little one watches the orange and red lady birds under a magnifying glass and I dig the Earth with a stick. I feel alive breathing in the fragrance these tiny flowers have released, I look at the brown Earth, this mild talc-like smell of sweet peas has come from this Earth. So many colours, violets, pinks, stark yellows and mild blues all from this dull brown Earth. I fall in love with the little pile of Earth I have dud out. This is the source of all this vibrancy and she has borne me as I am, just like one of these trees or flowers. In what form will she bear me again in her womb, I wonder.

Change

In last few days I have grown in many ways. I am a grown woman and yet there is an insuppressible child in me. Today, when I looked into the mirror, a much more serious woman stared back at me. There was less softness in the eyes and more concern about being grown up and in control of things. I understand most of the worldly things, but as I don't take myself so seriously, some people play mind games that I can see through now and I refuse to let them damage me.

I went out and I liked the disconnect when I traveled in a bus and listened to the senseless talk of the conductor and the passengers. I needed that.

My meditation is getting deeper and I sense almost a pain and hunger in my soul for the union with the creator while I meditate. Seems when you introspect and you stumble, you also discover that a deep silence and healing lies within.

I am blessed to have friends who engage my mind.

Healing

If you lift up the scab, I am still healing
With each change in the skylight the blood clots more
As the bruises turn light blue, then pink
I heal and heart grows calm again

Noon

A warm empty noon
Haze of stillness
Silk cotton seeds take flight in the mind
Blue void of the skies have occupied my heart
Nudge this cotton candy with the body of your smell
In the warmed floating space let the head rest against the heart
Fill in some erratic beats in between this waking and stupor
Breeze fills in through the open door lifting my hair like dry leaves
A million pieces of soul have gathered in your arms
Give me your wholeness, take the blue of empty sky away
Drip the honey of your skin thick and sweet on numb limbs
Collect the scattered cosmos in warm empty noon
Pierced deep and quick by the excited cries of summer birds

Being a Woman

It is very quiet, there is soft cool breeze stirring the dry leaves in the darkness. I am going through the interviews and articles of the anthology 'Sita'. As I do this my own life comes to me with a stark clarity. Now, who was Sita?

In brief I will narrate you the story. Sita was a princess. She was found in Mother Earth in a furrow. There are many tales about how and why she reached there, but her birth is considered divine. Now, she grew up to be a very beautiful woman, she was divine as once she had lifted Lord Shivas bow while swabbing the floor of the room. Her father saw that and decided that since her daughter had lifted the bow that was so heavy that most valiant of the warriors could not even lift it, he would marry his daughter to a man who could string it and break it.

In those times there were 'swayamvars' for the royal princesses, the kings would arrive from all over and the princess would garland the one who she liked. In this case the suitors had to break the mighty bow of Lord Shiva.

Rama, the prince of Ayodhya achieves this and takes the beautiful bride home. The bliss is short-lived as soon his step mother asks Dashrath, Ram’s father to grant her a wish she had earned before. She asks for Rama to be exiled and her own son to be throned as the king.

Rama is a man who honors his words, he leaves for a fourteen year exile. Sita follows him into the forests. She is advised to not leave, but she is adamant and she loves her husband so deeply that she threatens to kill herself if he abandoned her.

Once in the forests they live like ascetics, surviving on the fruits and the forest products. The forests are governed by Surpnakha, sister of Ravana, the king of Sri Lanka, she falls in love with Rama’s brother and he cuts her nose when she pursues him, the learned Ravana sees Sita as he visits the forests to revenge her sister’s dishonor and falls in love with her. He creates an illusion of a golden deer and Sita asks her husband to fetch it for her. When Rama does not return she asks her brother-in-law to go help his brother lest he is falls into some trouble. Laxmana, the brother-in-law draws a line around the hut and asks her not to step across this line.

Once he is gone Ravana comes dressed as a monk asking for alms. He refuses to take the alms from across the line saying that would be an insult. Sita crosses the line and is abducted by him. Now, he takes her to Sri Lanka and keeps her in a place called Ashok vatika, this place still exists in Sri Lanka. He can’t touch her against her will as he has a curse that if he molests a woman he will die.

Rama gathers an army of monkeys and all the forest dwellers and wages war on Ravana. Ultimately he frees Sita. The irony is that he rejects her and asks her to marry any one of her choice since she had been under the protection of another man. Sita berates him and in anger enters a pyre to prove her chastity. This makes Rama accept her and she accompanies him to Ayodhya, their kingdom as the exile is over. There is joy and Rama is made the king. He is a very righteous king and believes in setting right examples.

He has spies to know about the state of his people and one day a spy tells him of a washer man throwing his wife out saying I am not Ram to accept a tarnished woman, a woman who has lived under the roof of another man and is an adulteress. Rama is grieved by this incident but as he is the ideal king he asks his brother to take Sita, who is pregnant and abandon her in the forest.

Sita is clueless about her fate, when she is abandoned, she waits for her brother-in-law and she is shattered when she realizes this betrayal. Sita wanders to a saint’s hut and he and his family nurtures her. She gives birth to twins and brings them up. She is strong-willed and does not revel to them their father’s name. Later when Rama has a horse sacrifice ceremony, these two boys hold the horse and defeat his army. This is how he comes to know of their existence and then he tries to ask Sita to go through another fire test and prove her chastity. Sita refuses and she asks the Mother Earth to open up and take her in its womb. This happens and Rama is left calling her name and weeping for his beloved companion.

Now, here I am introspecting. Are not these threads so familiar? I questioned the dependence. Sita leaves Rama and never seeks another man; she is complete in her self. Today, the feminist would jump from one abusive relationship to another. That is not empowerment. Many questions are confronting me about the way I have lived my life as a conformist, never questioning the authority and always and blindly accepting the traditional mold of mother and dutiful wife. At this point I am looking at self-reliance and asking myself, Do you want to undergo this at every step and then treat my self like a grown up human, with respect. Time to stop giving unconditionally and create a boundary. I guess this is called growing up as a child I vowed that I will not become like the dry and serious mothers I saw all around, and now the circumstances are me to grow up and leave the ease of not taking myself too seriously. Seems that says to all-trample me!


Picture: Raja Ravi Verma's Sita's exile. She is shown sad in the forest.

Evening!

It is early evening, there is breeze in the leaves, stirring them gently. Suddenly the cool high-ceiling room, where we rest, gets filled with the sound of constant chirping of birds. I go out and tilt the rocking chair back. I can see little black and white birds crowding the silk-cotton tree. We watch the birds and wonder what they are chirping about. In a while they take flight together in a beautiful formation. Suddenly the tree is surrounded by absolutely quiet.

Had gone to the market to get badminton rackets for the kids. Had to get the knee guard and helmet for daughter's skating classes. I have just finished preparing the dinner vegetarian dish and my son is insisting that we go play badminton. I will write once I am back from the game. Many things to share...

Evening

It is early evening, there is breeze in the leaves, stirring them gently. Suddenly the cool high-ceiling room, where we rest, gets filled with the sound of constant chirping of birds. I go out and tilt the rocking chair back. I can see little black and white birds crowding the silk-cotton tree. We watch the birds and wonder what they are chirping about. In a while they take flight together in a beautiful formation. Suddenly the tree is surrounded by absolutely quiet.

Had gone to the market to get badminton rackets for the kids. Had to get the knee guard and helmet for daughter's skating classes. I have just finished preparing the dinner vegetarian dish and my son is insisting that we go play badminton. I will write once I am back from the game. Many things to share...

Resting Today!

Am running mild fever. Have sent kids to school, that is a task as I have to be up by five thirty and start preparing their lunch and breakfast. Next, to get them out of the bed is more difficult. I keep repeating the 'look at the watch' phrase but other than me none of them does it. I give bath to the younger one and mostly end up feeding by hand. Bringing their shoes, water bottles , keeping their lunch boxes in school bags, combing their hair as they complain 'you are hurting my head'. Then, finally we march out to the bus stand.

Again I hear the constant chirping of migratory birds as if a thousand metal bells were jingling together. What music! Over the weekend we had many activities. Jayu, my daughter is interested in insects and takes a magnifying glass to look at them closely. She loves lady birds and a few days back we were looking at a greenish spider holding a little bee in its fangs. The spider left the bee and it fell down, it was dead so I kept it and another dead bee near the spider's web. Jasmine is blossoming all around and the mild fragrance in the nights is soothing. Jayu is learning to do 'fill in the blanks'. This is a new concept so I write on the wooden closet all the sentences and give her the options one by one to try out till we come to the right choice and then I write it n the blank.

I made ginger and black pepper tea and I guess I will have another cup, the fever is not down yet. This time I will add basil leaves.


I was at a seminar at IIT Delhi this Saturday,the very young IITstudents were so full of life. They talked about the various kinds of people. The amiable ones, the analytical, the drivers and expressive. They told of how one can identify the type and assume a behavioral change called 'the style flex'. Where one changes one's behavior slightly to match the others, to bring about clearer communication.

They had a chart that sad how you go ahead and mold your stance, like with a driver, who dictates the work and orders around, you have to maintain a rigid posture. Not dress informally and be more precise about your communication in case you are in the expressive or amiable category. Each category behaves in a certain way under stress and moves on to the reverse side, that is to the extreme opposite personality's stress behavior as the last resort. I just now got the sheet that I had misplaced where I had noted down the behaviors under stress. Here it is:
  • The Analytical will go alone
  • The Driver will start ordering around
  • The Amiable will surrender
  • The Expressive will resort to personal attack
At the breaking point:

  • The analytical will resort to personal attack
  • The Driver will surrender
  • The Amiable will start ordering
  • The Expressive will go alone
That actually is shown by a figure of 'Z' with the behaviors in the four quadrants.


We played a game. The whole auditorium was divided into teams of 11 and then some teams which had lower number of people split into others. We all were told to go out of the auditorium and then they said that we all are in NASA and there is a problem that the Earth was going to be hit by an comet in 40 minutes. Since there was no scientists available, we had to activate a missile with nuclear tip to save earth. This would be doe by typing the keys from one to forty without simultaneously pressing two keys.
First time we went in we saw the number cards lying on floor and some in the team simultaneously pressed two keys and we were out within two digits. Next time we planned and made a strategy and got till 29 in a row, the third time we thought we will be fast and sat on floor to reach the digits. We were the only team to finish it in 40 seconds. That was fun indeed.

Later the facilitator asked about the strategies he pointed out that the aim was not kept in mind and the individual group goals became very important. He pointed out that it was said that ten people could come in at a time and had we focused on that fact, we would have sent the same team again and again till we achieved the goal that was to save the earth.

Today, I also felt a deep urge to go on planting trees. I wish I could keep planting trees. I love them!

Easter

Jayani, my daughter is leaning against me speaking of Easter lilies as I type this. We have just put a cake into the oven. I told her about Jesus Christ, about his crucification and the resurrection on Easter, as we prepared to bake the cake. She has been taking some pictures of Easter lilies and playing with the yellow pollen grains on the big anthers on the big bell-shaped flowers.

It amazes me how these flowers blossom right on Easter day! A few days back I was wondering how a stem was shooting up abnormally fast and what it would bear. There are no leaves but two huge red Easter lilies at the end of the stem today, on Easter day. It is almost magical how these plants are so faithful in their promise to decorate the Earth on this auspicious day. Happy Easter to all!

Serene Dream

I had a serene dream last night. I saw I was writing a very creative exam, where I needed to put down my experiences. Then I was called up the stairs for my file to be seen. I waited at reception asking if I could decorate my file with small blue flowers in a bowl kept there. I went up and it was Sanskriti,my kids' school but nothing there looked like the school, my boss at my previous working place was there too and very beautiful light-eyed women were there as the people who would judge us. They were in a meeting seems and there was a foreigner too. I saw the kitten 'booty boo' (he has stopped coming to our home, seems got a mate or changed the ares as other older males prowl this section of the residential complex!) I played with the cat excited to see him after so long and then later as I climbed up the stairs.

God! it was as if a paradise had descended. I saw beautiful rocks and a light blue river, the colour was lightest turquoise, with very powerful currents. The rocks were bathed in beautiful orange sunlight and it was cool and the river had a serene energy about it, there were arches and open sky beyond. I sat down on the rocks to see the water surging through the boulders.

My my file dropped into the water. I looked at the stream with apprehension and then dived after the file. I managed to save a few pages but the scene was too beautiful. Don't know what it means but it was wonderful!
I was very happy doing the creative work and the missing pages made me worry as to what I would show in the interview but it seems I was too absorbed in the beauty to pay attention to that small mishap. The quality of light was unearthy and there were dull marble arches all over. There was a silent knowledge that the river was Ganges, the rocks were melting beneath my feet but that did not deter me from admiring the beauty. When I dived into the water, I feared that it would be too deep but it was not. I sensed the cool waves closing on my body but it was soothing. A beautiful dream, almost like a poetry. Don't know what it means but it was a soothing balm to the senses.

Happy dreaming all!

The quality of light was similar to this picture's.

Silent

Yesterday as I lay on the bed, I heard the wind rustle the leaves on the roof and dust rushed into the room through a broken window. This came to me:

Eyes taste the dust wandering with wind
Teeth smell the solitary leaf scraping the tiles on the roof

I normally do not remember when these stray thoughts come and drift away like a cosmos on a breeze, but this one I did. Maybe because I felt the teeth really sense the brittle scraping of the leaf being hurled by the wind.

I love it when the sky darkens and suddenly the light changes. The trees, with each leaf reflecting the deep hues. There is something stirring when indirect light bathes the surroundings, it is as if the atoms and molecules vibrate at a different frequency than the normal.

A few days back I saw a tree laden with new, tender leaves, the colour was soft maroon-green and this tree was standing alone and the ground near the roots had a maroon tint too. For some moments I was completely absorbed in this beauty where the tree changed the quality of light. Normally, it happens the other way around.

My heart is a nomad
Wanders the wild lands bare feet
At night drinking in the dew of stars
In mountains inhaling the pale-wet sunshine
In a moment it contains the green -misty fragrance of crushed chrysanthemums
And the salt on the breeze by the sea
My heart is a thirsty wanderer
Captured in buds of moments... like a seeking bumble bee




Pic: A tree, loved the light and the spreading branches!

Silent

It is silent. Kids are away with parents. There are books and papers spread on my bed. My lap top is here with me and I can sleep with these things still pushed to the corner. The TV is switched on and there is a movie on. I had lighted a lamp in the alter and and incense stic. I don't drink but tonight if I had some company, I would have had a little wine. I don't smoke, but when I am under tremendous stress I feel like smoking. Long time ago I used to borrow from my husband and smoke but never liked it really.

Guss I am feeling a little lonely. What can one expect with a laptop for company? Well, there were two meditation sessions andmany nice ladies were there who want to meditate with me in the evenings. That might sort out thing of having some friends. My work and husband's absence probably had taken away all the time I could have had for any meaningful interactions with women around. Can't live all by myself need some one to talk to in person. All I do is cook, take care of kids and read and write.

Am off to sleep now...

Pic: It was cloudy a few days back and I took this picture, The tree has a lot of character and the light wow so unearthy...

Senstivity

As I said, I don't drink nor I smoke, these are known to affect the throat. I have been meditating for a while now and that makes the body very sensitive. I woke up with a sore throat even when I had no cold last night. Mere thoughts of these addictive things can make the body react. Mind and body are entwined more closely than we can imagine. What they call psychosomatic these days can be experienced and observed when mind and heart become more and more sensitive as one meditates.

Another picture, the same cloudy day!

Blessings!

I look back to the time when I had started blogging, thinking that this would be a nice place to collect my poems that I was loosing. The journey has been beautiful to say the least. I had never imagined that a blog would lead to so much learning. I was going through the comments in the previous blog. I realised that these from America, Malaysia, Russia and India. That is some diversity! Sometimes it feels as if our civilization in the stages of infancy.

These days I am reading a very interesting book about eco-friendly sanitation, well, that seems to be dry sanitation. It puts across this theory that all water-based sanitation is a non-sustainable activity. As I went through the facts, it really seems that the amount of water contaminated by the waste is enormous. A few weeks back traveling towards Delhi, on the periphery of the city, I could see miles and miles of sewage carrying canals. The water and waste is simply pushed out of the city and seems there is no infrastructure to treat that amount of sewage. Coming back to present, right here in these posh parts of the city, the drains are choked and the sewage is being pumped out and the dry contents stuffed into bags.

This made me realise how right this book's observation is. What I read about in this book, the things that it warns about. I am not going into details as the topic is unpleasant for some of us.

It seems that we are just realising the consequences of not having a far sight. The problems have just begun. This all makes me feel that we are under an illusion that we are very developed and have attained what no other civilization achieved before. Even the ancient civilizations adhered to more sustainable growth patterns.

Recently, I read in a blog about the immense possibilities of the web, seems here too we are so hesitant in making the transition. Old habits are too confining and even as we face dwindling resources, w stick to old ways of congesting the roads to commute and the do the tasks that can now be transferred to the web.

In many ways this is just the beginning of realisation that we are an infant civilization and unless we learn from collective experiences, as we do in these blogs, there is not much hope for us to evolve into a better race.

Got too philosophical, am so blessed to have the friends here, just wish that others enjoy what I am enjoying. Sharing and loving this experience. World indeed is flat!


Pic: Same day, our Earth, our Horizons, such a lovely frame for the sky! Happy and sustainable Earth Day! Today is the day of our Mother Earth, April 22.

Wanderings

Yesterday, as I was walking towards home I saw a kitten that looked like the one kids loved. I picked the kitten in my arms and tried to carry it home. She was patient till I reached the gate and then she scratched my fore arm and ran away. Our cat is missing and this behavior by the kitten makes one thing sure, if he was alive he would have come back. Right now a black cat is sitting in the porch with its litter of four kittens I am keeping a constant supply of milk to her as she is feeding the young kittens. This time they are tiny compared to the healthy litter of two kittens last time. The cat showed gratitude by rubbing against my leg. Things are so simple in nature. In human relationships, the very people for whom you have cared the most would leave you in a lurch, just an observation. It has started to get scorching hot here. Little green mangoes dangle on the branches like pendulums. Air is warm and leaves stand still at noon time. Sky becomes cloudless, hard as steel, shimmering.

Her Daydreaming!



There was a calm pool of quiet in her heart as she played with a green twig. There were bright magenta 'office time' flowers dotting the thick succulent leaves. She inhaled deeply, last night's jasmine was still on the bush, drooping slightly as the sun blazed. Looking up she saw a pregnant woman, and she thought how a little human was attached to the fluid-filled amniotic sack, so primitive, she thought. A sweat drop trickled down her temple; she extended her pink tongue, tasting the sharp salt of the droplet.

A woman was buying vegetables, a woman from a respectable house hold, her back was a little bent. Her voice barely a whisper. Feeding her children and being presentable by her husband's side were unwritten duties, so she feeds them day-after-day, thinking of new things to put in their lunch boxes. She buys a few matching trinkets for herself to go to the stiff formal parties, this woman with a slouch, to look presentable by her husband's side. The woman buying the vegetables also pleases her in-laws, it is one of her duties.

There are sparrows in a nest, she observes, the mother sparrow is pushing the baby sparrow out of the nest. Sparrow is skin and bones rearing up her three chicks, but she will never be a mother -in-law to lord over the little male chick's life. In nature things are simpler.

She is thirsty, she dunks a steel glass in an earthen pot she had bought in a small town, the smell of wet earth fills her nostrils, she inhales deep as she drinks the cool water. She touches her feet, they become dry no matter how much cream she massages into them, every day as she bathes surrounded by white washed walls, she brushes the feet, first the toes, the nails and then the ball of the heel. Sometimes she scrubs them with terracotta stone. When she was younger, she would mix turmeric, curd and gram flour and when it would dry on her skin creating wrinkles, she would scrub it, rolling cylindrical dark paste, moving her palms slowly against her face, shedding all the grime.

In the steaming heat she sits thinking on the doorstep of the first showers of monsoon, when the dark gray clouds creep silently into the horizon and suddenly the life stands still in anticipation. Air gets saturated with humidity, thick and almost solid, and then suddenly with slithering cool breeze, the heavens open, showering pure bliss on parched Earth.

She stands up, her hair catching the pale dust riding the warm wind. There are birds chirping in the neem trees and the bitter smell of ripe little neem fruits permeates the air. It is time to peel the vegetables and soak the lentils and rice for the lunch, as the squirrels run up and down the tree, she smiles and shuts out the heat across the door. The mustard oil fills the bottom of a pan and her hands get busy transferring the cut vegetables to this spluttering heat of the vessel.

Beautiful Life

Reading Irving Stone's ' Lust for Life' I almost wept. Such a passionate artist and what a love less life he led. A soul ahead of his time, perhaps even in today's fake world he would have suffered. A beautifully crafted biography, I will not reveal more, a must read for people who find their calling in Mother nature. For past few weeks I have been having fever, today things seem a bit better. What a blessing it is to get back to normal health, even cold makes one so helpless!


It rained...


Last night... it rained
Earth steamed
And yellow leaves danced
Heat and dust got tamed

In my heart...
It rained peace
And your thoughts
Fear and anxiety slowly settled

Last night...it rained

Pic: Jayani, my daughter took this picture in our lawn a while ago.

Mind and Body

Lately I have come to believe that mind and body are entwined very beautifully. Mind and its influence on the body is so powerful that it can reverse aging. Through observation I have come to realise that for me somethings work and these have an affect on the way body ages.


  • Meditation- This is an absolute connect between mind and body and when you become thoughtless, just as you some times become while looking at a beautiful flower, there is rejuvenation. The mind that never stops thinking, erasing, sorting out thoughts, rests for these moments and the effect percolates to the body too. If you observe, even while we are asleep, the mind works and we see dreams. These dreams also call for decision making and discerning. Probably due to this nature of our brain, we consciously need to disengage it sometimes and that happens when we meditate.

  • Connecting with nature-I have observed whenever I am ill, there is a psychological reason also that lowers my immunity. The house we live in also saturates with a certain kind of energy. Just observe what happens when you move out into open. Sometimes it feels that our energy field is getting expanded. I go out consciously twice a day to connect with nature, look at the sky and the Earth and somehow that brings the balance back.

  • Food-That is the basic raw energy that we transfer to our body. If it is not exotic or out of season, it seems to agree better with the body. Secondly,I have observed that when the food is cooked, the emotional state of the person cooking affects the vibrations of the food. A person in a balanced state of mind cooks food that adds to the vitality of others. Perhaps the ancestors had a belief rooted in this fact, when they prohibited the menstruating women from cooking. Now we know, women' bodied are virtual cocktails of hormones during the periods and so, there are many tales about cakes flopping and pickles molding when a menstruating woman touches it.
Yesterday, as my daughter and I were outside, we saw two plump jasmine flowers. I asked her to rest her lips on satin soft petals and inhale deeply as she closed her eyes. When you do this, a feeling comes to you, that this is a beautiful moment brimming with fragrance and beauty of the flower. It is hot but I have delayed the servicing of the AC so we have just the water cooler to battle the summer heat. There was some cable fault and in the noon there was no electricity. Jayani and I slept on the floor, she made two paper fans and we waved these, it was an amazing feeling to lie on Earth, the spine becomes so straight. We have forgotten that Mother Earth is so comforting, just lying on Earth is so healing, one can lie with body turned to left side, it's a comfortable position. I will be traveling to Mumbai soon and I will try and keep all of you posted about the experiences there.

Mumbai

While in Delhi watched a mother sunbird feed a baby sunbird with Professor Vijayaraghavan Chariar. The bird had its woven nest in a thorny tree, the little one and the mother were fearless surrounded by small children playing and eating in serene silence. There was a jet back father-sunbird too flitting like lightening from one branch to another. To observe the little one try and climb out from a shallow canal was a beautiful moment in time.

Here in Mumbai, I felt utterly lost as I watched people mill around like ants. I never get this city, there is too much focus on things. The city has had its revenge, there are distorted people. There is just concrete and very less space to connect with nature and that leaves just the material things to focus on, the result is here. Just yesterday I read a report in the paper that Mumbai matches with the western country in the stroke related deaths. I stroll near the sea face and that is calming. A few days back I was just observing how much plastic was stuck in women's hair. It feels as if the hollowness inside is patched up with flashy things stuck to the exterior.

In the mall the noise levels were very high in a bowling alley, there were men and women and children. I felt a nausea rise up and felt all that mental chaos unhinge me as if all their thoughts, desires and anxiety were crowding upon me. Something about the way life is perceived is not right. Before that there was a monsoon ball where a crowd danced to music as artificial showers lashed them, drenching bodies. There was smell of liquor and perfumes, of hormones and raw desires. Again there was no purity here, women flaunted and men were like panting wolves. A woman next to us let her bodice slip down, the man dancing with her was drunk and aroused. It was ugly. Ther is a harshness that puts you off the material world when you encounter such a deeply engrossed mass of humans. The focus is on the basal things, sex, food, clothes and money. I do not say that to look for a comfortable life is a sin, but what I see is a completely absorbed attention into just these. That puzzles me and disorients me. Am here in Mumbai and being amused by this strange city where most of the wealth is concentrated and with the wealth is the mad rush everywhere as if the time is about to end! Will keep you all updated on my observations of this city. I held a soft six-month-old baby to calm my nerves today. It was beautiful, I will avoid going into the crowded places here.

Pic: Low tide in Mumbai, there is beauty too but very few get to admire this here in this city.

Observations

Walking by the sea front in the morning, I observed the crows were over excited. There was a crow with a badminton shuttle cock in its beak and the other crows were crowding around this crow excitedly. The proud crow held the shuttle cock like a trophy and began to pluck the feathers. There was more excitement and cawing. He would look side ways with an arrogant turn of neck and again start plucking out the cork. The whole display of bravado attracted some eagles too. They hovered low and two crows flew after these circling eagles. Now the crow with the shuttle cock grew more possessive and took flight to an isolated rock a bit farther into the sea. He was still convinced that he had found a dead bird and the joy of pulling out the feathers was evident in the way he thrust his breast out and pinned down the ravaged shuttle cock. After good ten minutes of plucking the feathers and cork, the crow realized that the thing was of no use, he flew back to his friends and continues to display his prized possession. By now other crows had started prancing with some odd stuff, one held a wet brown bag in its beak, other had dug out a shell and jumped from rock to rock following the crow with the shuttle cock. After a while another friendly crow joined the shuttle cock crow and they got busy with scraping some sort of edible algae from the rock surface. The shuttle cock was forgotten, seeing this, another crow gingerly came close to the abandoned shuttle cock and as soon as he picked it up the crow who had found it pounced upon him. This made me laugh and I could not help thinking how human was this behaviour. Even when we realize how useless some of our precious possessions are we guard them with our life and the moment some one encroaches on this possession, well, the crow reaction happens, lay off your claws!

Another interesting thing I want to share is: we were visiting husband’s friend after so many years came to know of a very unique thing about him. He was aware of his previous birth as a child. He used to tell his parents that he had died in a car accident in Calcutta and remembered the number plate of the car. He dreads visiting Calcutta but is confident that he can easily navigate the streets, though he has never visited the city before. When I asked him what all he remembered on a lot of prodding he spoke of being driven in this car and that both the driver and he were killed in the accident. He remembers that he used to wear a white dhoti and was a businessman. We joked about finding out his widow and check if he had left a will. This is the first time I have met a person who remembers his past birth and since he was quiet reluctant to share his experience with anyone, and knowing him so well, there is no doubt that he telling the truth. I really wish that he would go back to Calcutta and find out who he was, though it is easy as his father had found out that the car with the number plate he remembered had actually met with an accident and the occupants had died, a strange co-incident is that ion the same date a few years later he took birth again.

There is something I have also experienced about the date, when I had delivered my daughter I had a disembodied voice tell me that this child had my brother’s soul who had expired when he was three. Then it told me to ask me about the significance of seventeenth September in relation to the brother. This was the date of birth of my new born daughter. I was scared initially as this was a strange dream and I had just delivered, I called my mother and asked her if the date had some significance for my brother. She told me that he had died on that date. I was stunned. It is quiet possible than that the date of birth has some relation to the date when we die in previous life?

Still in Mumbai, and absorbing this restless city. Will keep you all posted, take care and enjoy awareness of self as I am realizing our existence is more like a dream, with us like masses of concentrated energy, living the dream that is sniffed off so easily. While I walk, sometimes it feels like every thing, the people, sand, sea, trees are extension of this energy or that I am an extension of that whole!


Pic: Since I don't have the USB cable for my phone, I couldn't post the crow pictures. Here is Jayu on the beach! Crow pictures will be here soon via blue tooth!

Beach

We visited a clean and peaceful beach here in Mumbai and that is a rare thing in this city. There were rocks submerged in sea water, these rocks have been sculpted by nature to look like waves. The hard rock had taken soft contours of a wave, its dark mass undulating under sea's constant touch. It was a moment of deep peace to stand near these rocks, in the deeper parts of this giant sculpture, crystal clear water shimmered. On closer look there were whole ecosystems surviving in these little water bodies. After a gentle massage of waves on the sand I rested in a calm pool created by these huge rocks. The water was warm and I sensed my body drifting easily in salt water. There was a transparent crab trying to climb up and a little fish flitting by me. Across the rocks I could see the sea waves and the surf.

There were a temple and a church far away etched against the skyline. I and the kids looked for shells in the beach and this beach was like an open treasure. Near the wave like rocks we found entire portions of beach covered in a thick layer of shells and little colorful stones. We picked up the most beautiful ones. In nature every thing is in abundance, this came to me as we picked each of these beautiful creations and observed how intricately the patterns were woven into these exoskeletons of sea animals. What kind of intelligence has depth of thought to create such subtle beauty? On the rocks there were tiny calcareous projections along with greenish algae. I was carrying a glass in one hand and as I jumped from one smooth rock surface to another, I slipped a bit and landed on the smooth rock, to my surprise without breaking the tea glass! It was as if mother nature had softened my fall. Just to be lost in the vast expanse of sea shells and sand was a peaceful experience. I wanted to share it with you so I was eager to put it down here. Take care and enjoy our magnificent mother, Mother Nature.


Pic: Animesh, my son sitting by the 'rocky waves'. Look at the way these rock waves are peaking and cresting.

Living in the World

Keeping in mind the learning from the stone waves, I ironed a load of clothes today, mostly my husband's and kids' clothes. Somehow I find ironing a task that according to the 'younger me' was a waste of time. I would jerk the clothes twice while spreading them on the clothes line and then they would dry with less wrinkles, that would make them ready to wear without ironing. So, today I thought if rocks can become waves, then I too can overcome my dislike of ironing and ironed away a huge pile of clothes.

A few days back I was in the market buying some biscuits and cakes as we are staying in a transit accommodation and the kitchen is not fully operational. A lady I had met earlier launched on me taking me unaware, with a non stop loud complain as how she shuts up the 'middle class women' who complain about the small houses they have to do with. This, without any initiation from my side, in fact the moment I saw her I tried to push off in opposite direction to avoid any interaction after the mandatory' hi'. I was not successful, and as usual she started the assault, she always highlights the fact : " people like me who have lived in bungalows are entitled to complain(how many times one needs to know that?), they (the other women) are not from industrialist families to crib about the houses they get. They would be living in match boxes in their home towns but here they constantly crib! Let them rent out a house somewhere in Mumbai if they are so troubled." I wanted to say that the very fact that you are trying to show that others are beneath you in some manner speaks of an inferiority complex, but that would invite trouble.
Well, I did not know where to look and what to reply to this sudden onslaught of verbal missiles. I tried slowly moving sideways pushing my trolley just nodding now and then, even without any participation her attack was a disturbing experience.

What makes people so violent is beyond me. Why do they feel such an absolute necessity to convey their status? Why this need to control others? Normally, when we encounter such an approach with people with whom we constantly interact, we try to counter it with resistance or with our version of control. This may be the present way to survive in the artificial hierarchies but the deeper, stress-free way of being is devoid of all these energy-sucking tactics.

The flow of life would be so much more smooth and enjoyable if these ego hassles were not there. Sadly, we live in a world where outer things have become more important and the silence of the soul and inner wholeness is forgotten. The only way to erase such meaning less interactions is to connect with nature, the sea constant in its waves, the wind ever flowing and the Earth ever green even after the harsh seasons. Most important and most beautiful things in life are unconditionally given to us. Just as blood courses the limit of our limbs, as humans it will make life like a poetry if we know the limits of our ego.

I needed to put my thoughts here to understand why I was so puzzled at certain behaviours. We have every thing that is required to make a human happy, food, work, a roof over our heads and most importantly, children. More essential are the facts that sun never fails to rise every morning, oxygen that keeps us alive is created afresh by plants, water that sustains us maintains its cycle, if even one of these is withdrawn there will be no life as we know it, yet we put this
' miracle of nature', our mind, to petty things! May God bless all of us with the true way we were meant to be.


Pic: Waves crashing and absolute peace. Nature is divine and we are a part of nature. It is just a matter of connecting with this divinity. Amen to this.

Being

From the silence of the deep ocean
Drawn out, a silver fish of consciousness
Eager to dive back, but withheld

Many times I walked the worlds
And lived the loves and lives
With pain lapping as ocean waves on the shore

They say that each cell in out body has memory. There was an experiment by a polygraph expert, Cleve Backster, where some cells scraped from mouth were connected to a polygraph and the person was sitting far away, when the person reacted to some visuals shown to him, the cells that were kept in another room reacted to the stimuli through electrical discharge in the same manner as the person,s polygraph. Even when the cells were taken away from the body the reactions were same? How were the cells still acting as a part of the body even when they were severed from it?

Sometimes I feel just like the above experiment we have the truth of our existence buried deep within us. This rises to the surface at times when there are moments of absolute clarity. The severed soul seeks the whole. How will we ever decipher the music of the univerce where not even a single note is out of place? Each leaf grows at mathematical precision and with subtle aesthetic poetry in place. When soul weeps it reacts to man made reality that plays on the outer side, the shallow means of survival that have come to be, caged in ego. Humans it seems were programmed to move farthest from the essence of being. While a little sea shell sings about the cosmic dance, we drift and drift far from the melody that emanates and surrounds us.

Learning

It is wonderful to reach this age, the mid-thirties, where there is some clarity, whenever I feel utter chaos closing on me I come here and just put down the thoughts and just like the sediments the unsettling thoughts disappear and calm returns. There is something so comforting about coming to this place and sorting out the thought process, in fact the cessation of thoughts brings such deep understanding of life.




Like all fickle-minded women, I am also swayed by what I see. When I see wives ordering around the husbands, I start thinking that there is something wrong with me to not object to every thing the husband says. Sometimes the influence is so profound that even knowing that it is not my basic nature to demand anything sternly, I fall into the trap. The fact is that the illusion of seizing control in a relationship is a cunning trap devised by our psychosomatic system that punishes us. After the initial euphoria of being in the driver’s seat the backlash starts. First, there is tremendous strain to keep the status quo. Next, your conscious does not agree with the unfairness and so inside the corrosion begins. When suddenly people discover the diseases they blame life styles, climate, genes and what ever they think went wrong, but the very fact that our cells emulate us should warn us to be fair in the true sense of the word. We might think that we have fooled the system and established control in a relation, but the fact is we have undermined the very foundation of a human relationship and that truth is known to our body, that expresses its frustration in form of diseases.




On the other hand, I see cases where there is absolute suppression of the women. When they have no say in any matter, in rural Northern India you come across families where what the man of the house says is the last word and there is dread of punishments both mental and physical that loom large for the whole family, specially the women of the house. In such cases to the bodies of the oppressor and the oppressed react as the unspent anger manifests as depression and then diseases.



So is there any balance possible? The irony is that even when you have power and capabilities, I have seen if you do not conform to the external world and once in a while establish the fact through validation from the same external world, you are swept aside and even the most feeble member of the society would start taking you for granted. Strange but true!



So on one hand if you conform to the power politics and become a party to the equations that are in a constant state of flux (That must be quiet a high as ego is constantly being fed, yeah yeah you are the boss!), you are running a never ending race that stops when your heart stops to beat.Secondly, once you are in the grip of maintaining that seesaw, your internal system punishes you, as there is no way that you can always be fair once you are in the position of power. As such, we know that absolute power corrupts. On the other hand, if you dwell inside, not seeking validation from outside and deriving value from inner peace, you are branded as a failure as no one is 'under' you and gradually there is every kind of encroachment on your mental and physical plane, again leading to frustrations and a feeling of loss of autonomy. It's a beautifully made trap with repercussions waiting on both sides. What should one do to be true to one's basic nature and yet survive gracefully?




In Warm Void of Noon

In the blue of sky and the crumbling whiteness of the floating clouds


Hearts turns inside out filling in the sun and silence of the noon



Days of wind and grass carpet this emptiness, wider and wider horizon grows

Open the mouth and let in the breeze fill in, close the eyes and see the green darkness



A warm empty noon and an empty mind just the sound of wind ruffling the clothes


Open up the limbs to the soil and the sky, the stark warm noon settles like a dust particle


Traveling on fresh sunrays, coming through a window... floating down a dark silent space...

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Story Contd...

Jaya was folding clothes when Shiv had tiptoed into their bedroom and now he was holding her against him,whispering something as she laughed. She turned to face him"whats so funny Shiv",she had smiled for the first time in the day. "I have a surprise for you, we are leaving for the hills tomorrow, you said you love the snow clad peaks so I got the reservations."Jaya's eyes sparkled as he spoke of hills, she had spent most of her childhood in Himalayas. For a moment she forgot about the thoughts that had tormented her all day long, like a child she had her arms around Shiv's neck and kissed him filled with gratitude." We are leaving tomorrow so today we will do all the packing Jaya, the temperature at 11,000 feet dips to -4 at night so keep your jackets and warm trousers."Jaya had started sorting out her things from almira when her cell phone started ringing, she read the number and came out in the lawn with a pounding heart. It was Krisna."How are you feeling now?"Jaya was nervous she barely managed to whisper"you should not have called now Krisna, I am leaving for Mukteshwar tomorrow morning for fifteen days, I will call you when I come back."There was sound of his deep breathing then the line came alive"I am also coming to Mukteshwar then, you like it or not I have to take this decision now,I will come to meet you there make up your mind".Jaya had trembled at this,she tried to tell him that it was a foolish thing to do but before she could speak the line went dead. Jaya had come inside pale and shaken Shiv had held her thinking she was feeling cold coming from outside."Who was that Jaya your mother? I had asked her to call you in the evening, she had called up when you were asleep."Jaya nodded against the soft folds of his sweater, he smelled of musk and deep forests. They had a quiet dinner that night and as night draped the horizons Jaya slept fitfully in her husband's arms.I n the morning they had been so excited that there were oblivious to the passage of time giggling like kids they had packed their things in their car and Shiv had started quiet early before the morning traffic took over. Before noon they reached the foothills and Jaya had clapped excitedly at the sight of mighty peaks piercing the blue sky."How beautiful they look Jaya even more so when I see them reflected in your eyes.Jaya had lowered her huge lashes and changed the topic"look Shiv a rare mountain bird, we used to imitate its call and this bird would reply, wait I will show you."Jaya had cupped her hands and tucking her sari folds firmly she had jumped out to stand near the tree and made the bird call. After a while the bird had started replying and both Shiv and Jaya stood laughing in the dense forest, the road was lonely as the winter was severe this time. Shiv had drawn her close and it had seemed an eternity till both had realized that there was sound of tinkering bells somewhere in the distance. The magic was shattered but they had sensed something very sacred and profound as they moved towards the car hand in hand Jaya had turned to Shiv and surprised him as she broke down in his arms her body shuddering, Shiv had stroked her back."Why do you cry Jaya now we are one these moments will fill our life, we have a life time together."Jaya had let tears flow and as she took her seat next to Shiv something of a resolve stated forming in her heart. She belonged now, she was not a drifting leaf she had to stay by this man who cared so much . As the car accelerated up the steep climb she could hear a dim roar and as the roar came near in the rear view mirror she saw Krisna's favourite Land Rover take form, her heart froze and she felt numb inside as the vehicle passed them. Yes it was Krishna, he was wearing shades but it was Krisna. Her Krisna of mango gardens, her Krisna of scorched afternoons, Her Krisna who felt what she felt ...only now she belonged to another, she would make him understand this time, he will understand........To be contd

What damage!

This is the first time that I have experienced so much damage to my files on computer due to a virus attack, the messenger is absolutely wiped off. We tried to reinstall but the thing just disappears now I have to use other browsers to come to 360. All of you beware major virus attacks going on. Meg I know it was not the thing in mail box as now we can identify the virus lol, what good will it do to identify it refuses to budge. My son's messengers also have been deleted or altered. So now I am scare if this will alter this blog thing too now I will post the story fearing the shut down of this application! Nice landscape see I love hills as we are hill people and the moment I reach hills my eyes well up with tears and I feel like never returning to the plains. My dream is to make a cottage in hills with huge French windows and have a garden full of flowers and vegetables. I will have a huge dog and a cow for my company and a cosy study to read spiritual literature, will meditate in the fresh mornings and fill mineral water from mountain springs. Cooking I would do on twigs and wood so that the wonderful aroma of burning wood gets into the cooking vegetables. I would look for hours at changing horizons and knit with soft wool. I n the evenings I will light incense and do my meditation with an oil lamp burning on the alter. I will have very few clothes and belongings. I will walk barefoot on the green grass and smell the wild leaves. The clouds with their white waves will entertain me making animal shapes and human faces in the delicate fluff. I would write of mild sun and gentle breeze and sparkling water. The sounds of falling water will fill my heart, butterflies in dazzling colours will fill up my eyes and peace will fill up my soul, answer me will I need company then? Will I need constant craving then? Slowly but steadly someone up there is unfolding a destiny to me and one-by-one ruling out all distractions by showing me in a crystal clear image how fickle and dream like are things that we crave so much and desire with such intensity. I f this seeking goes inwards I think there will be more fulfillment , more rewards. Take care all my friends!

Here the blog at least is ok! fickle!

I do not know what viruses came into my computer yesterday, the whole system has been corrupted. I had this virus alert in my mailbox and i wonder if that was the culprit. My son had some expert comments on this.
1. That i am a computer addict
2. That i lol cant survive a day without blogging
3. "See your state mom , blogging is doing this to you" lol

Lectures from the son over I had thought of putting the next part of the over the top story I am writing, lets see if I am not interrupted by my critic my dear son I will try my best.


FICKLE
Now a drop, now just dew!
A thought here, tears few
Fickle is the nature
Fickle this life
Passing seasons drifting sands
Thoughts that blossomed
Lie scattered on ground
Once that was, now is past
What worries then.
Nothing lasts
Like a fist let me hold
A fragment of a memory
A moment old
For I know nothing lasts
And this decorates me
Inside out to hold it close
To say it loud laugh
love, cry , dream
For us dye is already cast
And i tell you nothing lasts!

Today a Question!



Now that most of us are comfortable with each other and we are knowing each other I want to tell you what I feel. There are a few things that I am telling you about myself and asking about your phases of life.

Do you feel detached from all senses at times? I feel so quiet often since my teens I would start sleeping on ground, wear dull clothes which hung on my stick insect like frame. I would eat only boiled vegetables, sprouts and fruits. I do not know what I wanted to prove but I would punish my body. On such quest filled days I would make cuts on the flesh to see how blood flows inside and if I was actually alive. I have a very high threshold of pain so I would see this to sense what I actually was lol. Not that I would gather much but it made me register that I was alive in some dimension.

Even today I feel so much for little children that I feel mad rage when I see people using them, exploiting them. One day I was in a shopping place I saw this beggar woman keep an infant naked on earth and ask for money. I had an urge to go back and bring clothes from house, but I saw this woman would deliberately keep the child naked in cold to seek sympathy. I was so angry I wanted to physically assault this woman. Then to calm myself I thought of karmas of that child. What evil deeds he must have done to get such a mother. My husband says I am on an overdrive but what to do I feel it so strongly. Still when I go to this place I see this woman take off child's clothes and lay the poor creature on earth and I feel impotent.

Some of my friend's mother said that I am very easy to fool as I trust easily but then I would try to act smart. This would make me look even more foolish lol. So I have given up and trust God to take care of me at all times. And I must tell you I have met very nice and helping people so far. My trust keeps negative people away and tells me that its ok to be trusting and not calculating. God never calculates how much Sun we get, how much breeze or how much breath we take. He s so giving so why should we become such misers. So I accept my basic nature and being with you friends reinforces my belief that we can trust and give without looking like a fool to our critics. Tell me your experiences and your doubts.

Give!

Today I give

Will you take?

And think not, why i give

Take sunshine from my eyes

And leave a little dream in my heart

Share that pain let it go

Trust in me

Hurts will go

Let us drift past joys and sorrows

Learn a little love and life

Nature gives nurture gives

Then why this doubts in hearts and minds

Promise me

As I give

Ask no questions

Make no mistake,

When I give

You just take!

I LOVE SPRING!

These give me pleasure-Stones, wood, trees, flowers and beautiful features and sculpted bodies to sketch. Here is a joke-
There were two sardar ji(sikh , like ur blond jokes we have sardarji jokes here) they got mobile phones, nowwhen they started using they started getting bill. So Santa singh tells Banta Singh that this is too much, the earlier method of sending pigeons was better so both star sending pigeons with chits carrying message. First.
Santa sends-oi! are you ok?
Banta replies-yes Sardar ji I am rocking!
Banta gets another Pigeon but chit is blank now he gets worried, whats the matter, after a lot of thought he finally picks up the mobile and calls Santa- oi! What is this see I had to call
Banta- oh !Stupid ass that was a MISSED call!

Ill find some more!LOVE THIS PIC , YOU TOO ENJOY! LOVE YOU ALL !

Freaking me

A little incident again, yesterday night after long I was dreaming, in that dream I was with my school frind Smita. She is a Doctor married to a Doctor, whole night I was looking for a present for her daughter. I have not seen her daughter and we have not met for past 6 years, I was talking to her in the dream of our college and our studies. She appeared to be upset and angry with something. The dream went on and on with my looking at different things for her daughter. The general feel was that we were having soul to soul talk and that she wanted to convey her feelings regarding something. In the morning I tried to locate her number and after an hour of search could get through to her to my surprise! She is coming to Delhi tomorrow and really had some things to tell which were making her sad and upset. She said that she was remembering me as she wanted to share a few things with me. Its a small thing but I think my snstivity is there again I can see that I catch the vibes people send to me specially if there is something that my friends want to tell me urgently. It is neither good nor bad but I am puzzled each time this occurs, is it so that at collective level all of us are one entity and that when we open up to that dimension we can feel what others feel? Mr Herb Master I live in New Delhi which is in plains but I belong to Himalayas where there is a lot of snow fall, this picture I have taken from net lol, not my handi work. With this entry i complete 190 blogs OMG!when did I write so many but with my dear friends time flies and writing is so much fun. I have taken this picture see the shadow and light play I liked a lot in this!

Blue Green

Blue of the sky and green of horizons

came together and stood still

drawing rain, drawing clouds

Into its fertile vortex

Strange rays played late into noon

With purple-violet twirl of Morning glories

In wind swept dusk sun rained gold coines

She had let loose her fragrant dark hair

Jasmine rained,lotus bloomed this strange night

Blue -green of the horizon found it self wound tight

In her fertile womb in her soaring passionate flight

The Cornfield by Joseph Furtado

One autumn morn

I chanced to cross

A field of corn;

That blessed morn-

To sinful me

The grace was given

On earth to see

The ways of heaven:

One of my fave poems, today as I was going for a jog and I saw a parrot and a crow on a wall. There was a bread piece near the crow and the parrot was trying to playfully come near the bread and eat it. The whole scene had such beauty to it. The way the parrtot walked lifting its feet slowly and trying to get near and eat the bread was amazing. I stopped there and watched this play. This is when I remembered the above poem.

A little ahead I saw a little puppy being licked and groomed by its mother and few more dogs frolicked around playing. The sight was again reminding me how very un conditional and giving is love in nature. A little while later another dog was chased by a group of dogs and reached this group and these all dogs rushed towards him pushing him out of their terittory. This made me laugh as the intruder dog scurried for its life.

Back at my lawn a pitch black butterfly hovered over my flowers and my heart and mind opened up like a bud to absorb the joy of this sight. A single morning gifted me so many pleasures, friends go out to take in the beauty and freshness of a new day and sometimes you will feel a surge of thhat all pervasive energy in your body as you take in these innocent sights.

NOW JOKES!

George Brown, when he was England's Foreign Minister, was being entertained in Paris by his Ambassador, Sir Patric Reilly. The chief guests were the Prime Minister of France and his wife. During the course of this very formal dinner, Mr Brown turned to the French Prime Minister's wife and complimented her on her looks by describing her as'most bed-able.' The hostess was scandalised. 'Really Mr Brown!' she reprimanded her husband's boss'hardly the thing to say to the wife of Prime Minister!' Brown ignored her and continued to adress the chief guest's wife. 'Surely Madam, other people have paid you similar compliments!' The French lady retorted in charming French way, 'Ouis Monsieur, but never before coffee,'

A couple were celebrating the birth of their first child, a son. After the party was over, the husband spoke to his wife:My dear, I have a very modern outlook on the size of family. I think one son is enough for us. So if you dont mind, I like to undergo a vasectomy. What do you think?' Do as you wish', replied the wife coyly.' You have your vasectomy now. Ill have my hysterectomy after I have had the third child'

Here is a picture I took in the garden I liked the contrast of white petals to the dark background.