Friday, November 27, 2009
Yesterday, I was dancing by a pretty young girl. A haunting beauty and I tried to etch her features and her fluid body in my mind. Dressed in a dark long cotton skirt hiding her feet. She wore a black simple top that hugged her budding breasts. A huge silver sun-like roundel hung from a slim chain, looking lovely above the v-neck of her T. Her brown hair cascaded to her slim hips. There was something haunting about her green eyes.
In the engagement ceremovy, since this cousin of my husband is getting married to a Kashmir boy, she was adorned with ornaments made of flowers- jasmine and rose buds. She looked pretty and radiant in her maroon dress and flowers, her hands painted orange henna into delicate patterns. These days when I am out, there is an involuntary detachment from the surroundings. In a way it is fun to stand away uninvolved, though you look involved as you do interact, and just observe what is going on.
Are we not in deep disillusion wen we stand at the core of the 'events' taking place. Actually,
we just observe no matter how aggressively we are involved as all the core processes are spontaneous. Detached participation is what I mean to put across, that brings absolute peace to the inner self, try this sometime. Stand near and yet far from surroundings and move inwards as a spectator. Sometimes this leads to introspection and sudden thoughts that seem to come from another source at a deeper or higher level.
Image: Again by Isha, I love these pictures by her!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Each moment with seeds of heaven and hell
Like grains of sand thrown on a shell
Traveling the blue and brown of cosmos
To get lost in eternal inky depths
Where, in which star shall I look for your soul
In this void... I seek the whole
Image: Clicked by my cousin sister Isha!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Yesterday, I visited the trade fair with my parents. It is such a soothing feeling to be with your parents. My mother had made a simple vegetable dish with cauliflower, carrot, peas and potatoes and to have this with the 'puris' was wonderful. Thoughtfully she had raw onions, fresh green chillies and a juicy lime too add to the favour. It is as if one returns to the roots, like a small sprout returning to its parent plants. You can complain, yell, be a child without any fear. My parents are very simple people, father, an engineer by profession is an educator par excellence, mother, a teacher and how many new little things I discovered about her. Her admiration of crafts, her comments and gentle persuasion. The joy on their face when they gifted me money to spend on what ever I liked! I did spend some to make them feel good.
There is something very satisfying and peaceful about comforting the parents. I do not get the chance often as with kids and family it gets difficult to visit them, but it is a pleasure and an intense learning time when ever I visit. Actually, there I feel I have turned into a little girl again, with kids sticking to my brother as he is the pied piper of kids! There is time to let go and relax and listen to parents talking about the relatives, meditation and how I am wrong in their current observation about bring the kids (that is always a hot favorite).
There are things that I can reflect on as a parent and fill the gaps when I see how they interact with the kids. Today, when I was feeding my reluctant daughter as she was getting ready to leave for the school, I realised the massive responsibility I shoulder. Someday, she will bring another human into this world and I will hold in my arms the genes passed on to her. Just beginning to realise how important is this bond. Loved the time with parents and tucking my father in and stroking his hair, things they did everyday for us! Asking God for more opportunities to be able to mother the parents...
Monday, November 23, 2009
A couple of days back I was talking to my friend who is getting married on 29th. She is like a tornado, moving from one place to another, getting her clothes for various functions to looking for a high heel shoe to go with her wedding dress. I heard her talk about all the things that were needed to work out before the wedding. She has always been very close to me and I know she is a soft person, I was listening to her and yet my heart ached to ask her just one thing, do you love him? Do you sense that stirring, that sweet ache when he is about you? She suddenly became very quiet when I asked her what she felt about him. " I feel numb right now with all these preparations," she confided. I felt like placing my hand on her heart and asking her to go inwards leaving the chaos outside and see if she felt that longing. At my age this would sound funny and very melodramatic but love I still believe surpasses all other 'necessities'. Talking to her, it felt that while traveling the destination was forgotten. This poem came to my mind. These lines I recited to her to break the monotony of tasks that freeze the affection:
She seem'd a splendid angel, newly drest,
Save wings, for heaven:---Porphyro grew faint:
She knelt, so pure a thing, so free from mortal taint. Anon his heart revives: her vespers done,
Of all its wreathed pearls her hair she frees;
Unclasps her warmed jewels one by one;
Loosens her fragrant bodice; by degrees
She warmed up a bit and then I asked her how he feels about her, to this she replied that he was not too expressive. Don't know if I was right in advising her but I encouraged her to write to him about all the things she felt in her heart. Next the things that came to me were asking her to give without expecting, to most it might appear ancient but observe closely and what do you actually get out of calculations? Escalations and misery till the whole purpose of living together is lost. Another thing was learning to forgive, it has been a very difficult approach for me too but my experience tells me this is one medicine that cures all the bitterness in life.
Another jewel I want to share with her. These lines stir me every time I read these beautiful words from Khalil Gibran.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
Last but not least are the words by my favorite poet Robert Frost that captures the essence of life...
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
I love this girl and pray for all the bliss that rains through the magical bond of love to drench her soul!
Monday, November 16, 2009
There was a little lady bird, his name was Mikora. He loved playing with other insects but today he found none of his playmates. he looked for them everywhere, over the branches, under the leaves but he could not find any of his friends. He was very tired so he made a soft nest in mud and soon he was asleep. In his dream he saw a green field surrounded by sunflowers and he ran and ran till he reached the tallest sunflower. He climbed the flower and saw many little insects running about playing hide and seek. Mikora joined them and they whooped with delight when they spied on a hiding friend. Suddenly there was a storm and the sunflowers swayed wildly. " Mikora, get up! I have been looking for you every where. Come climb n my back and have your lunch, we have to leave son for our new home." Mikora's mother was shaking him and he woke up rubbing his big eyes. " But Mamma, where are all the friends I was playing with?" His mother lifted him and laughed," friends Mikora, there were no frinds you were asleep alone, maybe you saw them in your dream. Mikora ate his honey and grains and collected his toys. He tied them in a small tender leaf and sat on his mother's back. She was flying very high in the blue sky, she crossed the green fields, deep blue lakes and Mikora saw black sheep grazing down below. At last they reached a field of sunflowers, as yellow as the sun and she landed on a huge brown centre of a sunflower. Mikora looked about, there were little lady birds and spiders and ants all playing and jumping from flower to flower. He laughed and danced" this is the place I saw in my dreams momma! I love you." He ran to join his new friends and played and played till it ws time to have dinner!