Saturday, September 1, 2012
Has been on my mind, it was raining outside, I was sixteen and visiting a temple in Ghorakhal. This family had four grown up children, the youngest was elder to me by a few years. She was fond of photography and shared an album with her dressed as Mira, queen, goddess and what ever she fancied. There was this elder sister with her two young girls. We were four I think wandering in the woods when the people I had visited left without me, somewhere I wished this as I was loving the company. The eldest boy was in college and was like a living sculpture, chiseled nose, perfect features. Younger boy was my age and kind of smitten. When we returned after that deliberate wandering I was a bit scared, this was a strange house. I remember we peeled steaming potatoes and the simple lady of the house liked my presence. There was a strange energy there, I could not sleep the entire night. Around midnight I sensed the young girl, younger sister was whispering something to someone, it was her sister's husband and she was fending off his advances saying I would wake up. God that was absolute terror as I stayed wide awake and alert to run, I cursed the moment I had stayed back with these people. Moments crept towards dawn, when I left for home the next morning it was like the biggest relief. I wonder if the family was blind to what was brewing, dunno why but this just surfaced.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
First there were just the cat and the kittens! Then arrived the mamma dog with her litter! Since mamma cat shifted to the home where she gave birth, she has been visiting home. She almost bullies me into following her to the room where her litter were kept, there she shows me the places where they were kept,she avoids the main entrance as the bitch is there with her litter. This routine went on for a few days. Yesterday, the kind Christian lady 'nana' as her grand daughter calls her, shared with me how the black cat reacted to this dog. When nana, was trying to feed some bones to this dog the black cat ran towards the door where the dog was chewing on a bone and slapped the dog. Dog scurried home, I thought some one had hit her but it was the ferocious cat who seems to be really jealous of this dog. Nana told me about her grand daughter overfeeding the cat and yet the cat was trying to maintain her territory in our home! Nana was furious with the roguish cat "this cat is a getting too bold, look she hit the big dog and what's her size, I hit her head lightly after she slapped the dog!" I doubled up laughing. So much politics in these territorial war fares. Most amazing thing is holding there tiny perfect creations in my hand and how they trustingly sleep nestled between fingers. Am stirred as their tiny hearts beat against my hand. Nature creates such perfection in humblest of life forms. It is innocence that opens our hearts and then the love flows, puppies and kittens don't pay us for all the work we do but we are so overwhelmed with love and protective feelings that we do things that we would not do for humans for these little animals. Nana was telling me yesterday that these animals pray with their little minds to God for us when we love them, maybe it's true but for the moment just to hold fresh life in my arms I swab, clean and cook for these little babies. It seems as humans we have this condition-we evolve when we learn to love and keep the love flowing...
Friday, April 13, 2012
I had a strange dream yesterday, a white tiger pounced on me through a window and that was unnerving, later I was sharing my meditation experiences with a saint and questioning what they mean. There are days when there is absolute clarity and then there are days when mind wanders to the past. It makes me think that imbalance and sadness have their roots in past. The moment you step into this trap of asking 'why', there is absolute chaos. Later it snowballs into frustrations, self pity and deep sadness. It is a fact that joy is condensed in this present moment, slipping into the past is painful. Meditation keeps you balanced and in complete joy. There is deep wisdom is leaving everything to divine.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Had a beautiful dream I was near my Guru's feet, my heart enveloped my being. There was such blinding clarity all through the day. I could introspect as each thought arose like a wave and see desires forming, their illusive nature, the futility of the chase. Is really amazing how we are programmed to chase 'things' that draw us into a perpetual mirage. Even in the moments of recognition, human awareness around us closes in and we go back to a constant craving for happiness while it's embedded in our hearts. This might be logical-as when there such complexity and beauty that goes into tiniest cell of this creation it is obvious that tour potential as the most evolved species must be immense, but the deterrence in realizing this are smartly programmed, to keep us busy in the gross and the mundane. The intelligence that has created us and all the living and the intern matter reveals just a glimpse of the whole, those who dwell into the reality of this creation become detached and move completely away from the structure and system humans enjoy and create, away from hierarchy, possessiveness, greed and territorial behaviour. Meditation is becoming more enjoyable with wonderful sensations in the my heart and mind. At spiritual level there are changes manifesting and these are experiences all the humans should enjoy.