It was an amazing experience to read Ambedkar and edit these books. How he struggled against discrimination and rose up against all odds to lead the downtrodden towards light. He has authority over varied subjects like religion, law, women's rights and all the subjects that can be imagined. Babasaheb Ambedkar has already given us the solutions to all the prevailing ills. I was amazed to discover while reading his speeches that he had already written a lot on how India should be divided into smaller states for good governance and sadly the process is still continuing with so many illogical war of words. I shall write more on what I learned, for now I just can say this that instead of reinventing the wheel our politicians and masses should read Ambedkar for clarity on all issues.

I would like to share the event that triggered my interest in the Environmental studies. We were visiting Kedarnath in the year 2004 in the Uttarakhand Himalayas and as we traveled up the narrow passage crowded with humans, mules and horses, the immense beauty of the sacred shrine gradually blossomed. A stark contrast was the scattered waste, all the way though, like an eyesore. I tried to pick up as many plastic wrappers as I could. To this, my husband said that I could better help the cause by writing about the environment as this would create awareness, lack of which is the root cause of such environmental degradation. The ideas stuck with me and as we reached the shrine the stark contrast of the snow-white peaks against the reeking pool of human excreta and Caracas that lay floating in that contaminated sludge made me weep in utter helplessness. The irony is that this constant abuse of the track can be easily contained as there is just a single track and vast manpower available due to presence of Indian Army but still the problem is allowed to fester. I observed that a huge glacier had rammed into a guesthouse near the shrine, people native to the place told that this was unusual melting and path for the glacier. What else can we expect, especially when such a massive assault on the environment is taking place? I was deeply disturbed and met the advisor to Government of India at CGO complex explaining what could be done regarding the Kedarnath trek. He laughed at my idea about creating a soak pit and using the gradient of the hill to direct the waste into the soak pit. Next, when I visited G.B Pant Institute of Himalayan Environment and Development, I reluctantly broached the subject with Dr Upendra Dhar, who surprised me with a project report, which was regarding the creation of such a soak pit and was in cold storage as the government had changed on the wrong time!. Somehow this gave me a conviction that I was not too wrong about the solution for the great damage that was brought to the pristine environment of Kedarnath. Last year when the Kedarnath tragedy happened, I dug out this old mail of mine and was thinking that this should be brought to notice of people who care. Yesterday as I watched you Mr Modi, it was wonderful to hear of a Prime Minister speaking about cleanliness as Gandhi Ji first taught about hygiene wherever he went, best practices were taught in villages, that is a true teacher and a true leader who encourages change through practice, long time ago I had read that even a toilet seat used to travel with Gandhi Ji for demostrations in villages. While visiting Kedarnath and Badri Nath, there is a simple thing one can observe and that is- initially when Bhagirathi and Mandakini merge, Ganga Ji is pure and as she descends slowly it gets contaminated. There can be two approached to clean this beautiful river- one is to start where there is maximum contamination being dumped into the river and second is to start the awareness drive right from the point of descend of the river. There are products like degradable bags with urea that turn human excreta into fertilizer, which can be distributed on the shores as constructing toilets nearby will contaminate the ground water, which is a serious problem in Uttarakhand. With mobalisation of volunteers, the drainage of ‘200,000 crores would not be necessary. A lot can be learned through how Europe cleaned their polluted rivers. Thanks for taking up this issue on the first day of your public appearance after elections. गंगा गंगा, क्यों हो इतनी उत्कल छोड़ पवित्र प्रांगण इतनी विकल पोछने को दग्ध तन मन तभी कहते तुम्हे माँ देती हमें मन, प्राण, तन छोड़ सघन प्रिय वन तीव्र लांघती गिरी कानन अति विकल गंगा का मन मनुष्य दूषित करते तन फिर भी बहती सरस सरल भरती घर आँगन

I work with the Red Cross and this was a felicitation ceremony for those who contributed towards disaster relief during the Uttarakhand flash floods tragedy. There are 4800 First Medical Responders in Uttarakhand as a result of a pilot project taken up with Government of Uttarakhand besides the Disaster Management program run by Indian Red Cross society there trains many more to respond during the disasters. This preparedness made huge impact, here is a glimpse of what all was achieved: The Uttarakhand flash floods that devastated the region following the heavy rains on 16/17 Jun 2013 in the state of Uttarakhand affected and displaced a large number of people. The unprecedented scale of disaster in the state of Uttarakhand saw the heaviest flooding and landslides in the state over the last 80 years. The Indian Government called the disaster ‘The Himalayan Tsunami’. It was the worst disaster since the Tsunami of 2004. The disaster was a result of a possible Glacier Lake Outburst Floods (GLOFs) and excessive rains that triggered flash floods and landslides. The total rainfall in Uttarakhand in the period from 01 to 18 June 2013 was 385.1 mm, which was the highest in the last 80 years. The normal rainfall during this period is 71.3 mm, indicating that rainfall was 440% above the normal. Continuous rains caused water levels to rise, and swollen rivers swept away entire temple towns of Kedarnath and Rambara, villages leaving travelers, pilgrims and local people stranded. Indian Meteorological Department (IMD) had issued an early warning about unseasonal rain and snow in the upper reaches of the Himalayas, the impending floods, and the recommendation to move people to safer places. However, the vulnerable regions around the rivers had no early warning about the possibility of flash floods and infrastructure worth crores was washed away. Even a week after the disaster there were people stuck in inaccessible areas in the mountains as many of the roads had been washed away or blocked by the numerous landslides. The tough terrain added to the difficulties of the search and rescue operations. Despite the challenging conditions, more than a lakh people were evacuated in one of the largest evacuation operation by the Government. Many of these people were wounded and hungry. They had walked miles trying to find a way to civilization. There was an urgent need of food, shelter and medication. Many had lost their loved ones and needed counseling in this time of trauma and pain. The IRCS State Branch reported to the NHQ the crisis situation which had emerged in the state due to the flash floods triggered by heavy rainfall affecting 12 out of the 13 districts in Uttarakhand. The 4 districts that were worst affected were Rudraprayag, Chamoli, Uttarkashi and Pithoragarh. Notwithstanding the difficulties in accessing locations, the relief operations of IRCS were significantly scaled up and relief was provided in the districts. Notwithstanding the difficulties in accessing locations, the relief operations of IRCS was significantly scaled up and relief was provided in the districts of Uttarkashi, Rudraprayag, Chamoli, Pithoragarh and Pauri. Four National Disaster Response Team (NDRT) / National Disaster Water Response Teams (NDWTs) members had been deployed to Uttarkashi and Pithoragarh districts to carry out need assessment. In Pithoragargh, Darchula and Munsiyari Tehsils had been worst affected by the flash floods. Balwakot, Nayabasthi, Ghoti were found to be the most inaccessible villages due to damaged roads and the assessment teams were required to cover distances of 5-8 kms on foot to reach these villages for undertaking needs assessment. Further, it emerged that the local population in these areas had been living in tents. Trained Red Cross First Medical Responders (FMRs) had been working closely and assisting the local people in temporary shelters. Since the onset of the disaster, more than 200 FMRs had been providing psychosocial support, Family News Service (FNS) and tracing services to people stranded in their respective regions. In Rishikesh, IRCS Tracing Office and DM Coordinator started “MAY I HELP YOU” Centre, whereby FMR volunteers were trained in FNS to register “I AM ALIVE” messages, and tracing requests. Tracing requests were collected from the family members about the missing people for Kedarnath, Rambara, and Gourigund camps. Additionally, the teams had been working closely with the local government hospitals and police stations for collecting information on missing persons. IRCS volunteers had been able to pitch tents near Vikas Bhawan in Joshiyara in Uttarkashi district. This area was being set up as a Red Cross camp. Construction of latrines in the camp site was carried out. Additionally, electricity lighting arrangements at this camp site was done. A health camp was organized by FMRs in Maneri village, Uttarkashi district. Of the three large Water Purification Machines (NORIT) dispatched by IRCS (each having a capacity to provide about 2000 ltrs of potable water per hour), one water purification unit had been installed in Uttarkashi by 15 FMRS. Water storage tanks T11 with a storage capacity of 11,000 litres had also been installed. This facilitated distribution of purified water to the affected local population. The second NORIT Water purification unit was installed in Guptkashi on 10 Jun 13 . An additional group of 04 NDWRT personnel were deployed on 09 and 10 Jul 13, to install and operationalise the 3rd NORIT unit. In addition, two of the three manpack units (units can be carried by volunteers and can provide 80 liters of portable water per hour) were made operational in Guptakashi and Pithoragarh. Considering the massive response that was undertaken by Indian Red Cross Society, the felicitation ceremony was a fitting tribute to all those who contributed towards this human tragedy.

Walking by...

Streets are heavy with dust, passing traffic. A cluster of women walks past, the edge of saree covers three fourth of their faces. It is December and I am back in this small town-Ghaziabad. The streets are congested, people, traffic, animals all seek space. As a kid I would visit the vegetable market with parents, learning to choose fresh vegetables from the piles, pressing the turgid lemons, smelling fingers to take in the lemon's fragrance. There are so many fragments of memories, like scraps of worn cloth. Some times when I try to conjure them the images sulk and then I sense that maybe when I am dying all these images, moments will come flooding. They say it happens when a human is gasping for the last breath. Time that carries quiet, pale noons, time that cradles first rush of hormones. Sometimes the time leaps from such spaces, a smell, a touch, a wandering breeze, dragging the mind to a long forgotten space. Copper rays on the faded bedspread, as the blood pulsates to a primitive beat of life, I sit wondering how a human life is entwined with time...

This picture is of my Grand mother with my only maternal aunt (mausi) and uncle( mausaji). I don't know how to express but words are my saviour. Yesterday evening I came to know she is no more. Feel a stifling knot inside that I hope shall release after I am done with writing. My first memories are of her sitting in kitchen near the log fire and cooking the tastiest meals. The slow fire would permeate the kitchen with aroma of cooking bhat and daal, even the simplest of things became magical in her hands and I at five or six years of age would slowly try to get as close to her as possible. Now, in Kumaon there are these practices that while cooking no one is supposed to touch the cook. Perhaps this has to do with the fact that earlier days to maintain the hygiene of the cooking area the woman who cooked bathed in the wee hours and started the fire, concentrating the attention of preparing the meal without any disturbance and contaminations through oter people touching the food without the needed precautions. My nani ( gandmother) cooked like this, I would inch forward asking her " why?, why should I not touch you while you cook? If you don't give me an explaination, I shall touch you". She would laugh and scare me with a stick although never using it. After this she would patiently feed my Nana ji ( grandfather). And then there were days when she would clean the kitchen and the coackroaches would be removed from the wooden beams of the mountain house. I would piously threten her," see you are killing these creatuures, mind you, you may suffer the ' paap' ( sin) of killing these. She would laugh at this,yes so be it! She was a woman of rare strength and perhaps we get that in our genes from her. I saw her very courageously stand by the right thing and I pray that God give me the same strength in my life. I would often hang around her, she draped in simple cotton sari and me asking her a thousand questions as she took out the stones from the rice she was cleaning in a thali. For years that I was at her house I saw peace and patience. There was a fun episode when there was marriage of my Devendra Mama ( maternal uncle), she was a good manager and had kept things in orderly manner in the store, the keys would be with her. I got to know that there were sweets, really rich ones that had been brought by some guest. I asked her if some one had got sweets, she said no, and then I kept a tab on where she hid the key, when there was a chance I took kids to plunder the store and we ate the sweets and carried the rest in our pockets. Then I placed the key where she had hid it. Later when she visited the store she saw the sweets were gone and the other things were in a disarray, but true to her word she did not speak a word of it, she smiled and smiled! Such was my nani! I remember visiting a quaint temple with her, the fresh flowers in pots all around the temple and the tiny brass bell strung all around are still fresh in my memory and there too I would incessantly question her, many time asking her not to believe in the priests. She would never discourage my questioning. Earlier this year I had a chance to visit her but I did not gather enough courage to let go of responsibilities here and simply visit her, wish I had done so. May Shrimataji take you in her fold Nani, I know you are watching over as tears finally make way. Although I could not visit you often neither bring a gift to you I love you, you shall always stay in my heart.

Just passing by...

Been a long time since I last wrote here. When you keep writing words rush to you like an eager torrent otherwise one has to seek them. Was looking at my blog statistics and was surprised to see a lot of traffic from Germany. Jayani, my daughter has wrapped some seeds in wet cotton, a delicate bean sprout has emerged and she is observing it elongating shoot. Since morning cotyledons have shriveled up and fine veined leaves are emerging. Children bring to us the magic of every-day miracles, within two days the seed has grown into a beautiful plant. When one observes all the ego that one can identify with, dissolves. When all that is truly difficult happens spontaneously, then who are we to mark each deed as ours. Any thing and every thing that a human is capable of doing is insignificant compared to all constant miracles that keep emerging around us, delicate patterns on smallest of insects. Shelter for tiniest of creature, this breath flowing in and out, all...As evening gathers, dust settles and birds chirp perched on branches, sky darkens and stars emerge one-by-one. What beauty surrounds us each moment and we have damaged our senses enough to be oblivious of such divine grace, how and why? They say we emulate the creator when we love as the longing is similar to seeking the source of all, long time back tried to figure out how while interacting with a friend who was hopelessly in love and this friend came to me weeping, there is no sense in love, all it gives us is heart ache, she wailed. We discussed and this friend counted the expectations, I could not be judgmental as I too was equally at loss as to how this friend would be consoled. In the end we faced the facts that since she was seeking, love happened and as it grew so did the expectations, here was the deal breaker: now there was love but unfulfilled expectations that caused this breakdown. So along with her I discovered that expectations killed what she had come to know as love. There was no sense in hating or grieving, she had to let go and move on as whatever it was, it hurt more than it healed. When one just observes in a detached manner, it makes sense when spiritual giants like Ramana Maharshi, here's a gem: One who renounces desires actually merges in the world and expands his love to the whole universe. Expansion of love and affection would be a far better term for a true devotee of God than renunciation, for one who renounces the immediate ties actually extends the bonds of affection and love to a wider world beyond the borders of caste, creed and race.

Winter Schooldays

Down with cold, think it will take while before the immune system stabilizes. Remembering Winter school days in junior classes when a hardy rickshaw wala used to seat us with ruthless discipline. He had developed a strong dislike for some kids, I was one of the kids who were commanded to push the rickshaw when it was slow or got stuck in a ditch. Kids used to indulge into heavy politics of reserving the center stuffed raxine seat. A younger brother would spread a towel and fiercely guard it against kids who forced their bottoms against the hands threatening to pinch. Used to be major brawl, next came name calling when kids used imagination wildly to distort names. My maiden name was usual target as Pathak was quiet like phatak, that is the railway crossing barrier but I dreaded worse discoveries. Puruthi became parantha, major harassment went on throughout the ride to school sometimes escalating to throwing of bags that hung precariously on the edges of wooden bench opposite the prized raxine seat. I still remember our rickshaw wala's rugged handsome face vividly. He would makes us run after the rickshaw as a few smarter kids lorded over the stuffed seat and we pushed or hung at the back with feet jammed on the single steel rod just above the back wheels. Extreme frustration led to my sneaking to the school by cycle, was in third grade. He used to wipe off the moisture beads with a rag that he kept under the seat. Children on the wooden bench kicked children on the stuffed seat as there was heavy jealousy. A kid who stayed in the next block, his name was Rajiv Sharma, he would tell us stories where he kicked and tortured lions and tigers and they ran for life, the most amazing part was he made us believe that he rode the Lions when he went back for summer holidays to his grandparents. He would not accept any doubts. The campus where we lived was beautiful, a UNDP aided training center. Vast stretches of wilderness were favourite haunts, often the tearing hurry of escaping after stealing vegetables or climbing across the wall to steal peas from the village nearby led to scraping of knees and wounds. To bypass the scolding and anger from parents, I had befriended the Doctor at the dispensary in hostels. All the kids in the campus had a fierce completion on who would fleece more stamps and coins from the foreigner trainees or instructors in the hostel. The hostel was far from the residential area so a friend of mine Tintu and I latched on to a leaving rickshw for a free ride to the main gate. This guy was funny he said to us now that I have you in my rickshw I will kidnap you and he started paddling furiously. I jumped as the rickshaw hurled towards the main gate scraping knees and elbows against the road, the rickshawala, got scared and my friend was dropped quickly. Going home with these wounds would mean lots of anger and then furious first aid so I headed to the friendly Doctor ad he bandaged the wounds. At home I would cover up with long frocks till an aunt who had seen the whole episode asked my mother about how I was healing. Then she discovered the few scabs. Writing after long but the blog is my space since 2006. Is sometimes good to read the things that came across at times.